i punch gay deer

ok i’m going to do a thing

i understand you need to write out some shitty sob story when you beg tumblr for money so here’s mine

If you follow me you have probably seen me perpetually complaining about how I live in a hot festering sore on the ulcerated taint of America, but allow me to recount:

I live in a hot festering sore on the ulcerated taint of America. I utterly abhor being here for a multitude of reasons beyond the fact it has the most excruciating climate imaginable (which is certainly bothersome), and I want to move back to Massachusetts by the end of the month. This is complicated by the fact I do not have a job!

I can’t get a job because I have no education, no work experience, and I am stranded in what is essentially a sweltering Floridian graveyard town in which old people come to die. I have been applying to the most basic shit-tier retail/fast food jobs I can find every day since January, which has netted me exactly one callback and interview which still did not get me a job. I cannot attend college to help me acquire a job because my mother makes too much money for me to qualify for federal aid, but refuses to actually assist funding my education. I cannot pay for it myself because I don’t have a job, and I can’t get a job because I have no education, no work experience, and I am stranded in what is essentially a sweltering Floridian graveyard town in which old people come to die.

I can count the number of people I’ve seen here under the age of 50 on both hands. I have literally not even a single acquaintance here, no outside support, and no other family besides my mother. In the past year and a half, I have spoken to another human being who wasn’t my mother for longer than 15 minutes… maybe 4 times? And even then never the same person more than once. Super for real!!!

I am essentially stuck here with my mother 24 hours a day. I have no prospects other than sitting here and waiting for her to die. Our interactions, of which there are few, essentially consist of her casually demeaning me, impressing upon me how I will never amount to anything and how I am a social reject comparable to the Columbine and Aurora shooters (??????? note of disclaimer: I have yet to shoot or murder any other people, nor have I expressed any desire to), and incoherent Fox News parrot rants about how Obama is ruining the country.

I do not think I need to say that this is incredibly emotionally draining!!! I am entrapped in an all encompassing depressive malaise that inhibits my ability to actually do anything. I’ve saved up about 3000 dollars from peddling my art, which is close to what I need’ll need to relocate (hopefully to an area where there is more job availability than a glorified retirement home), but actually working at any reasonable pace becomes incredibly difficult when I have to devote a requisit 8 hours a day to moping and feeling like shit.

If I do not leave now I am going to go utterly fucking insane. I need to not be in a place that makes me miserable and I need to not be cohabitating with a person who emotionally berates me and ensures that I have no means of escaping my situation.

So I am begging for commissions, but with a twist????? You can see my commission info here, but what I am asking for is:

1. I need the full payment for the work upfront.

2. I’m not going to take on any commissions for any work higher than the sketch+color . Doing full lines+color/lineless color requires a disproportionate amount of time and effort for even what I charge, and is also super stressful, so I’m not going to commit to that while I am at a point where willing myself to eat is a trial.

3. I am going to take as many commissions as I need to get out, which will be many. I will not be able to start work on these immediately because I already have other commitments I need to deal with first, and actually moving will obviously put me out of commission for a while, but [at some indeterminate time in the future] I will get them done. Hopefully once I have relocated I won’t feel like a rancid piece of dog shit all of the time and will actually be able to get it done at a reasonable rate, but it will take a backseat to the other shit I need to do. Probably months! Don’t ask for a thing if you aren’t willing to wait!

If you want to commission me, just email me at ipunchgaydeer@gmail.com with what you want and I’ll put it on my list.

Or if you want to just give my poor ass money, my paypal is ipgdpp@gmail.com. If you send me anything without commissioning me, I will pay you back the money once I’ve moved (also don’t have a time frame on this, but it will happen).

Hi thanks! pls take pity on me